Choosing
by MakeTheStarsFall
Summary: Rosalie's brother Jasper and her boyfriend don't get along at all. She doesn't want to have to choose between them. But when she ends up kissing Jasper's best friend Emmett in Jasper's bedroom, everything changes. All human, please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

I didn't want to have to choose. Choosing was always too hard. It made too many people unhappy. I just wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted people to stop fighting. Over me. I didn't want to have to choose between my brother and my boyfriend. Because without both of them, I was nothing.

I looked to my left, where Sam, my boyfriend, was standing at his full six feet two inches, glaring at Jasper, who was on my right. Sam had his arm snaked protectively around my waist from the left, and Jasper had his hand wrapped tightly around my right wrist. I turned to Jasper, who was glowering intensively at Sam. I stared at him, my eyes pleading.

"Please don't do this," I whispered, my lips barely moving. But neither boy looked at me. Sam pulled me a little closer, and while it normally felt nice to feel him against me, I couldn't feel anything right now. Jasper instinctively gripped a little harder on my wrist. I winced; it was beginning to hurt.

"Stay away from her," Jasper hissed through his teeth to Emmett. Jasper had never liked Emmett for multiple reasons; I think one of them was Emmett was popular and usually got what he wanted, and Jasper had to work for things like that. But that didn't mean Sam was superficial. Not at all. Sam had been there for me when no one else had been, when everyone else was too caught up in their own world to notice mine. Most of the time I didn't mind when others didn't notice me. Because Sam always did.

Sam had always tried not to hate Jasper, but when Jasper tried to keep him away from me, Sam got defensive. And it had gotten to the point where neither of them wanted anything to do with the other.

And now they were making me choose.

"Jasper..." I murmured and tilted my head to look at him, "please don't do this. I love you both." Jasper winced at the word 'love', mostly because it had been associated with Sam as with himself.

Jasper, listening to me for once, let go of my wrist and took two steps back quickly, looking down. Sam pulled me closer once again and took my right wrist in his hand very gently, kissing it three times. My skin tingled where his lips had touched it. I turned into Sam and put my hands on his chest as he wrapped both of his arms firmly around me. I could tell he wasn't going to let go any time soon.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie." Jasper mumbled, and dashed out of my bedroom where they had been arguing. I can't remember for sure, but I think they were fighting because Sam wanted to take me out to a movie or something, and it was a school night, or something. Jasper my overly protective older brother, even if it only was by a year. Plus our parents were never around, so Jasper was generally in charge. And that's usually great. Except when Sam's around.

"Are you alright?" Sam said quietly, his head bending down about four inches to whisper in my ear. Why did everyone always think I was so fragile? I hated that everyone always acted like I was some breakable China doll. I was tough. I've been through a lot. They should all know that by now.

I wiggled out of Sam's arms for the first time in awhile, because it didn't feel as comforting as it usually did. I wrapped my arms across my stomach and stood about five feet away from Sam and his quarterback-built body. I'm sure he was so confused. Well, I was too. I looked cautiously out of the corner of my left eye to Sam. He hadn't moved. He was standing patiently right where I had left him, his reddish hair falling nicely over his right eye. His lips were looking rather thin and pressed, like they generally did after fighting with Jasper. He was looking down, but at the same time peering up at me.

"I hate it when you guys make me choose," I don't know how the words came out, because my lips didn't move, but they did because I heard it and Sam acknowledged it. He took two big steps over to me and slipped his arms around my waist to rest his hands on the small of my back. He tipped his head down to my level.

"I'm sorry. But he--" I instantly turned away from him, but didn't leave his arms. It felt nice this time.

"Don't blame it all on Jasper. You're just as much a part of it as he was. Why can't you two just get along?" Sam didn't say anything. Instead, he took one hand off my back and touched it to my chin.

"I'm sorry," I would have sighed if it wasn't for the part that came next. His lips touched mine just a little too hard for the moment. It could have been gentler, but I let him do what he wanted to make him feel better because he thought he was making me feel better. When we were done, just after a few minutes, I kissed him once on the cheek.

"I think you should go home now." Sam didn't object. He just gave me a quick squeeze and left my room.

I hope he didn't run into Jasper on the way out.

* * *

A few minutes after Sam left, I went down the hall and knocked on Jasper's door.

"Come in," I heard him grunt. I heard a deep, gravelly laugh before I opened the door, and I figured Emmett was probably in there too. I put on a smile and opened the creaky door slowly.

Emmett and Jasper were sitting on some beanbag chairs staring at the television. The screen was split in half, so they must have been playing a game. That and the fact they had controllers in their hands. I watched patiently until someone's character died on the game, and then they both turned around to look at me. Emmett gave me a big smile, and I returned his happy grin. Mine was definitely not as jubilant as his, but I tried. I wasn't in a great mood, so cut me a little slack. I'd just gotten in the middle of a huge fight between my brother and my boyfriend.

"Can I come and hang out with you guys for a little while?" I asked. I wasn't speaking to either one of them in particular, even though I was looking straight at Emmett. He was looking back at me intently, like he had stopped breathing for a minute, or had just seen me for the first time. His chestnut eyes bore into mine as he nodded slowly. I couldn't help but notice his mahogany ringlets bounce just slightly when he did so.

I exhaled, and noticed I hadn't breathed since I walked into the room. Something about Emmett, today, even though I had known him my whole life as Jasper's best friend, was taking my breath away.

I took a seat between Emmett and Jasper on a third beanbag chair. Emmett broke the almost-awkward silence.

"So how are you and Sam doing?" His voice sounded pained as he asked me. The words I was going to say caught in my throat, and I was quiet for a minute. I heard Jasper mutter a few curses under his breath.

"We're doing fine," I lied. I didn't elaborate on the fact that it didn't feel right in his arms today, and the ongoing fights between him and Jasper were killing me inside. He didn't need to worry about that. Nobody did. No one but me.

"Oh," Emmett's eyes fell to his criss-crossed feet. He almost looked disappointed, but I don't know why Emmett would be disappointed that Sam and I were doing 'fine'. Jasper, on the other hand, laughed.

"Still waitin' for that break-up, man?" He reached across my chest to punch Emmett in the shoulder. Why would Emmett be waiting for me and Sam to break up? I've known him forever as Jasper's best friend. Why would he care? Emmett didn't...

Oh.

Now, I have to admit, I've thought about Emmett in some...inappropriate ways for a girl having a boyfriend. This is true. But not in a really, really long time. I actually used to like him. From fifth grade to being a freshman in high school, but he never noticed me. Or at least, I didn't think he did. Then Sam came along, and he treated me like a princess. He told me everything I wanted to hear. He was everything I wanted, and everyone but Jasper loved him.

Emmett glared at Jasper, and then spoke to Jasper.

"Hey, Jazz, why don't you go get some chips or something? I'm starving!" Jasper, as if on cue, climbed up out of his beanbag chair and scampered out of the room, his bronzish hair swaying as he did so. I could have sworn Jasper winked at Emmett on the way out, but I'm not sure.

"So, Rose, I'm sure you heard what Jasper said." Emmett said a little nervously. I glanced up from staring at my feet and smiled at him. He grinned back, looking a little relieved. Almost.

"What, the part about you waiting for me and Sam to break up or the part where Jasper cussed Sam out?" Emmett gave out a little throaty laugh, though it had no humor in it. The hair on my arms stood on end. I breathed out.

"The part about me waiting for you and Sam to break up. I don't like him very much either." I was quiet.

"I have a feeling that the reason Jasper doesn't like him and the reason you don't like him are very, very different." Emmett nodded slightly, and then reached his arm out to touch me on the shoulder gently. My skin burned where he had touched it.

"The thing is, Rosalie, is I. Love. You." He said the last three words very slowly, and my heart skipped a beat with each word. And then I did something that my head had no part in. I usually listen to my head and not my heart, but this was different.

I got up on my knees and leaned into Emmett with my hands on either side of his face. I didn't dare freeze to look at his eyes because I knew I would stop what I was doing and things would be bad.

I bent forward three more inches and kissed him.

I am a terrible person.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, I forgot to introduce myself. *blushes* My name is Panda, this is my seventh FanFiction and I think it's my fourth for Twilight. A couple of you noticed my typo in the beginning of the first chapter, and that's using Emmett's name instead of Sam. See, originally it WAS going to be Emmett, but I changed my mind and had to go back and change all the names. I see I missed a few. :) Sorry for any confusion that caused. So anyways, I'm not too sure where this story is going just yet, but I'm really excited about it and even more excited to see what you guys think about it. Just for the record, I do accept anonymous reviews, and I'm willing to accept any kind of criticism. Feel free to PM me if you have any ideas for this story. Thanks so much for reading!**

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"Holy sh—" I heard Jasper swear. I was a little euphoric, my lips still attached to Emmett's. Kissing him felt like being hooked up to a live wire. Tingles ran throughout my entire body from my lips to my hands to my feet. I didn't want it to stop. His hands were on my waist, and I was on top of him on the beanbags. My body felt like it was on fire everywhere it was touching him. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that kissing Sam never felt like this.

Jasper might have kept talking. I'll never know for sure, because I managed to cut out all sounds around me except for Emmett. All I could hear is him breathing and his heart pounding against mine. All I could feel is the burning in my skin and in the pit of my stomach. All I could taste is the sweetness of his lips.

One more time to hate having a boyfriend.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. But I'm sure it was awhile, because when we finally stopped, mostly to breathe, Jasper was staring at us. Mostly me.

"Rose..." Jasper sounded strained. I looked at him, relaxing in Emmett's arms. He was breathing heavily in my ear. It took me a minute to realize that I too was breathing at a quickened pace. I smiled at the thought.

"Rose, you have a boyfriend." Ugh. I picked a sock up off the ground and threw it at Jasper. Emmett laughed a little nervously. Jasper chuckled, but I could tell he wasn't amused. He rarely is these days. He's under a lot of stress, with his job, college applications, basically running the household. I have no idea where my dad is right now, but my mom left last week. And I think it's for good this time. But Jasper and I could manage. We always have before.

"I know," I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut and letting Emmett wrap his arms around me as I curled myself up into the fetal position. I didn't want to talk about it. Let's just pretend I don't have a boyfriend, everyone. Makes life easier.

Emmett was running hands through my hair slowly, trying to calm me down, because he knew before I did that I was on the verge of tears. This was too hard. I didn't want to have to...

Choose.

Why couldn't I just have it all? My boyfriend, brother, and my brother's best friend? I didn't get anything else I wanted in life. Life never generally worked the way I wanted it to. My parents didn't get along, so don't even get me started on my life at home. Last year, I lost my best friend because she and my now ex-boyfriend were screwing each other. I couldn't fully trust anyone because of things people have said or done in the past. I couldn't trust. Hell, I can't even deal with our dog at the moment because she brought me a dead squirrel yesterday.

I'm a disaster.

I'm an emotional mess, can't trust anyone, and now I'm a freakin' slut. I don't know if I can deal with this.

"You're not what you're thinking you are," Emmett muttered, taking a minutes to play with my earlobe. I think he was seriously reading my mind.

"Yeah, I am," I swallowed and climbed out of Emmett's lap, though it pained me to do so, "I think I should go." I ran out of Jasper's room and ducked inside mine for a moment, grabbing a cream colored scarf because it was a little chilly outside. I wrapped it twice around my neck and sprinted out the door so neither one of them could catch me. I knew where I was going, and I knew what I had to do. I cut through the backyard and cringed at Daisy, a mental picture of the squirrel running through my head. She barked once at me and then went back to digging a hole by the fence, trying to escape. I wish I could do that.

Jogging through the woods down to the creek, I stepped over the log blocking the path very carefully so I didn't rip my new True Religion jeans (size 6, skinny fit, dark wash), because I've ripped many a pair of jeans on this path. My feet crunched over the browning leaves that carpeted the ground, the cool air clinging to my cheeks. But I'll be okay. I'm almost there.

A glimpse of the giant oak tree caught the edge of my right eye, so I climbed over a big pile of sticks to get over there. Then I stretched my arms up and grabbed the two branches I could reach at five foot seven, and hoisted my left leg up onto another lower branch. I clambered up that tree like I had so many times before, what I was going to do running through my mind the entire time. Finally, I could feel better.

I scooted myself into the tiny tree house just big enough for me that I had built up here four and a half years ago (how I still fit amazes me) and swiped the small, glinting item I had left in the corner. Then I did what I had to do.

* * *

I heard a rustling and shaking of the tree limbs outside the tree house. I gasped, but clamped my hand over my mouth for fear I would be heard. Nobody was allowed to come up here. This was my little haven, where I could be along and do whatever I wanted. Nobody could stop me. I heard a few grunts as a large someone tried to get up the tree as I had. Luckily, the tree house was very small and camouflaged, and even Jasper didn't know of it's existence. I should be alright. Until I heard the name that the large someone uttered, very timidly.

"Rose?" It was Emmett. Damn. He sounded a little frightened, but I'm hoping that that was because he was about thirty feet up in a tree and he didn't even know if I was up here or not. I heard a little yelp escape his mouth, and the snapping of a branch. My hand stayed over my mouth because I was so afraid of being discovered. But in the end, I couldn't help but to peek out of a crack in the crude tree house. By what I could see, Emmett had now found the little upside down pyramid of branches that I had sat in so many times, wishing I could escape. But I couldn't.

"Rosalie, I don't know if you can hear me or not. Or if you're even up here," I wish he knew, "Dammit, I might be up here in a tree talking to myself," Oh, God, I wish he knew. I squeezed my eyes shut, keeping my hand tight over my mouth. I didn't dare move. I heard Emmett breathe in deeply. "

I just wanted to let you know," his voice was barely a whisper, "that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...hell, I don't know. But I do know," he didn't know. He doesn't know anything about me. "that this is somehow all my fault. I kissed you. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you..." Dammit, Emmett, just say the damn word. CHEAT. I freakin' cheated on my boyfriend. I am such a terrible, terrible, slut. I try to have a normal relationship for once with a normal boy, but I even screwed that up.

Emmett was quiet for awhile. But that was alright. I can deal with quiet.

I sneaked a quick look at Emmett through the crack in the wood. He was resting comfortably in the upside down pyramid of branches, his hands resting on his muscular chest...

I only let my mind wander for a moment.

If I listened very, very closely I could descry the faint beating of his heart. I couldn't help but wonder why he was here. How did he get here? Did he follow me? There's no way it was luck. No one has that kind of luck. Especially not me.

The wind swept through the tree gently, blowing my hair around my face, whipping around to stick to my lips which were coated in cherry ChapStik.

"Rose..." I heard Emmett mutter, "if you can hear me, I love you." Impossible.

How could he love someone like me?

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**Thanks so much for reading and being patient! Let me know what you think!**

**Love, Panda  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**You guys are so great! I love how everyone is so excited for this story. I know I am :) Please read and review! Love, Panda**

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**I swallowed deeply as Emmett starting humming. I think it was a song from the Pirates of the Caribbean… maybe the theme song? I'm not positive. Slowly, I let the breath escape from my lips through the slits my fingers had made over my mouth. My breath was shaky, and I thought I heard Emmett skip a breath. But that might have been me.

"Rose?" I heard him shift. I think he was trying to get over to the hidden corner of the tree I was in. "Rosalie, are you there?" My hand stayed tightly over my mouth, my breath as precarious as ever. He couldn't find me. He just couldn't. That would be...awful. He couldn't see me like this. I was a monster when I came up here. No. No. He couldn't--

A large hand brushed away the curtain of leaves hastily.

"Oh, Rosalie." I didn't move my hand and pressed my eyelids together the instant I saw his eyes on mine. His wide, deep eyes, so full of hope and innocence and...something else, something I didn't quite recognize. He almost looked like he cared.

"Go away." I mumbled in a whimpering manner, digging my forehead into my knees. I wanted to be smaller. I wanted to get away. To pretend I wasn't the monster I am. I cracked open one eye and saw Emmett's hand reaching out to me.

"Come here." I made a noise, somewhere between a grunt and a whiny whimper, refusing his gesture. He needed to leave, before he saw anything else. He was _not_ allowed to see me how I was now.

"I'm not leaving until you come with me, Rose. Come on. Just take my hand." I grunted/whimpered again, clutching my knees closer to my chest with the hand that wasn't clamped over my mouth. Leave, Emmett, before you see things you don't want to see. I tried to shut him out, but he had this huge presence in front of me. I couldn't ignore it...or him. His presence was overwhelming, to the point where I was gasping for breath.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off and removed my hand from my mouth, opening it as wide as it would go.

I screamed.

Anything to make him go away. I wanted him to leave. He couldn't see me like this. I think I heard him flinch at my intense screaming, and I don't blame him. It was loud. He started to talk, and I allowed the shrieking to cease temporarily.

"Do you wanna go away, Rose? Do you wanna leave with me? We can go far away. Far, far away where no one would find us. Is that what you want to do? Do you want to come with me?" I could barely believe what I was hearing. He was offering to leave with me. So that we could be far away, and nobody could judge me as the terrible person I am. I wanted to leave. So, so badly.

But did I want to leave with_ him_?

I pondered the thought for a minute. He'd learn more about me, just by being alone with me, than anyone else knows. I don't know if I wanted anyone to know those things. Those things....they were dangerous.

I lifted my head up slowly, gazing at him with open, fearful eyes. His mouth was slightly open, and his impassioned eyes on mine. I don't know why, but in that moment I wanted nothing more than to be with him. I uncurled my arm from around my legs and outstretched it to him. He took my hand and pulled me gently into his arms. Once my cheek touched his shoulder, all hell broke loose and all the tears I had been holding inside for so long avalanched down my cheeks. His blue striped rugby shirt was soaked in a matter of seconds, but it felt so good to not hold back. For once.

Emmett didn't say anything. Finally, after what must have been over ten minutes of me sobbing, Emmett whispered my ear gruffly.

"We'd better get out of this tree before one of us falls." I almost chuckled. I could have laughed. But...I can't. Not anymore. I silently agreed with him, though, and scooted out of his lap to agilely jump down the tree, from branch to branch. After a few clumsy minutes, Emmett appeared by my side, settling his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you, Rosalie. I won't leave you like they did." My ocean blue eyes welled up at this proclamation, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. I knew it probably wasn't true, but it felt nice to be cared for for awhile, even if I knew it wasn't true. Nobody _really_ cared about me. That's not the way my life works.

I held out my hand a little subconsciously, because I generally didn't do things like that. I wasn't a real romantic... but I liked the things that went along with romance. Usually. But only for awhile. When people get too close, emotionally... I don't react well to that. So I get out. I do it all the time, and it's not necessarily something I'm proud of. It's just what I do. It's what I _have _to do.

He took my hand with a smile and starting leading me. Away. I don't know where we're going, but I guess I'll know soon enough. I think he could take care of me. I think. Because I'm not as tough as everyone thinks I am. You see, everyone thinks I'm so great and strong and beautiful, but the truth is...I'm not. I'm just like everyone else, only worse. I'm a disaster, as described before. Nothing. Ever. Goes. Right. In. My. Life.

Simple.

That's just the way things work. I've gotten over it.

I stumbled over some sort of cinder block that was stuck in the ground. God knows how it got there. I ended up actually falling, which hasn't happened in awhile, and scraping up my knee. Shit. I _did _end up ripping this jeans. DAMN. That all just adds to my gracefulness. And these are such great jeans! _Were_ such great jeans. Sigh.

Emmett laughed a little and stopped to help me up, never releasing my hand. He had a firm but gentle grip on my right hand, if that makes any sense at all. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I haven't been making much sense lately.

"We're gonna go far, far away, Rose. So far away, that they'll never find us." Emmett turned around from his position in front of me and smiled. I smiled a little weakly back. My throat was dry at the thought of him, just being with me. It felt so nice, just to be around him.

"I'm tired of it," I blurted out mindlessly. I'm not too sure what exactly I was referring to, but Emmett seemed to. He looked back at me again with... I want to say concerned eyes. My eyes immediately fell to my feet.

"No, I get it. I know." I almost laughed because he knew what I was talking about and I didn't. It's kind of sad. But whatever.

We came to a clearing after slipping in between some low hanging, vine-laden branches. Emmett pulled me through and I gasped. It was the most beautiful place I had ever been in my life. The sun was shining through the canopy above all of the trees, very picturesque. Thousands of rainbow flowers were popping up everywhere, blanketing the ground on which we stepped ever so lightly. A massive tree stump, covered in wet green moss, was by the edge of the clearing. I could see monarch and tiger lily butterflies flitting around it delicately. The grass was the greenest I'd ever seen, just so pure and silky under my feet. Then there was the fact that Emmett was there with me. This was all so perfect...it literally took my breath away.

"I know," Emmett said quietly, gazing skywards along with me. I had a feeling he'd been here before. Maybe this was his special place where he did _his _terrible things, like my treehouse. But no, Emmett wasn't like that. That was me. _I_ was the terrible one.

Emmett turned around to look at me. Tears were welling up in my eyes because of the stunning scene before me.

"Hey," Emmett whispered, touching my cheek with his hand. My face was still looking up. "It's gonna be alright. I promise."

Too bad I don't believe in promises.

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**Review, please! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Did I mention you guys are really fab? :) No, really, you are! How come nobody ever believes me when I tell them that? Oh well. Just know that you guys are the fabbest. ;) Please review! :D Love, Panda**

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**Jasper's Point of View**

"This is such a disaster," I mumbled, Alice's ears perking up at the sound of my voice. She inched a little closer to me on my bed, her dark eyes looking concerned.

"What is it, hun? Is it Rose and…" She didn't say her brother's name, but she didn't need to. She was as freaked out about it as I was. Rosalie was never one to follow her heart. She's always followed her head, and I can see her being like that forever. She doesn't always believe in love or promises. She likes things that can be explained with logic or science. Not so much things that don't make sense to the rest of us.

"Do you think... do you think they'll be alright?" I asked Alice, staring at my ceiling. I couldn't stand the thought of losing Rosalie. She was essentially the only family I had, because of the whole parents situation. And Alice was great, but she wasn't technically family. She hasn't been around my entire life.

"Sshh..." Alice cooed, running her slender fingers through my hair. "They'll be fine. Emmett was a boy scout, wasn't he? Yeah." She was trying to sounds reassuring, but the truth was, Emmett was the boy scout that got us kicked out of camp, to put it simply. He sort of lit the tents on fire. And then cussed out the pack leader. Twice. Yeah, Emmett was not a good boy scout, so this statement was not reassuring. But Alice tried. That's what counts, I guess. She always tries, so hard, and I love her for it. She doesn't give up.

I guess I still looked kinda distracted, because Alice leaned over the top of me, her face hovering over mine briefly.

"Hey," she whispered, "it's going to be okay." Then before I knew it, her lips were raining thousands of feather-light kisses down on my lips, sighing a little bit in between each one. I smiled and pulled her on top of me by holding on to her hips, her skin molding to mine like it had so many times before. Her hands undid the button on my jeans...

**Rosalie's Point of View**

The guilt hit me like a tsunami pulverizing a beach; this was wrong. I have a boyfriend and should _not_ be here with Emmett. This was so wrong. Our fingertips touching, both of us gazing up at the beautiful azure sky above us. Together. That was the thing.

I missed Sam.

He'd always been there for me. He was my own little counselor/support system kind of guy. He was everything I had ever wanted...looks, brains, he was hilarious, and he understood everything I was going through. Because, well...

Sam was just like me.

You and I both know exactly what I'm talking about, so I don't see a reason for me to explain myself. He went through everything I did. Our families...the same. Self esteem...the same. Emotional issues...the same. We had so much in common, even if it was a negative thing. I felt safe with him though, because I knew he wouldn't tell my secret. And with that in hand, I wouldn't tell his either. But I don't know how much I could trust Emmett. I barely knew the guy, but it felt so right being with him, and so wrong at the same time. It's a little like being on a really strict diet, but a safe one, one that would save your life. And then you walk by a bakery and the aroma of chocolate cake smacks you in the face, tempting you. And then you give in. You give in, but risk losing everything you have worked so, so hard for. It can all be destroyed in seconds, just like that.

But somehow, it felt like it was worth it. It felt like that one piece of chocolate cake could fix everything just as fast as it could take it away. I knew I was just about to fuck everything up by being with Emmett, the chocolate cake, giving in... but maybe I was ready for being a little risky. I felt so boxed in by being with Sam, just because he was so protective and took care of me and understood everything. But maybe safe wasn't always a good thing. Maybe this was worth risking everything for. Worth giving up _everything. _Maybe I've been wrong, all this time. I wouldn't put it past me.

Emmett's fingers were entwined very loosely in mine, my fingertips tingling. My heart said it felt good, but my head was telling me to go.

And I generally listen to my head.

I jerked myself away from Emmett and started running. I leaped subconsciously over every branch in my way, closing my eyes as my feet tread along the path I had run so many times before, not wanting to open them. I was afraid I'd see him and change my mind. I tried so hard to shut my ears to him too, but it didn't work as well.

"Rose! Come back! I'm sorry!" He shouted apologies after me, for what I don't know. He had nothing to be sorry for. _I_ was the slut that kissed him. I, as usual, ended up dragging people into my dramatic situations.

This time I was leaving and no one could stop me. Not even him.

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Far away. I couldn't get far enough away. This is all too much to deal with...and the world is better off without me in it anyway.

But they won't be sad. They have nothing to worry or care about. I'm nothing, to myself and to them. They're going to be much happier without me and my drama. This was the way it had to be. I had to leave.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and at the thought, two tears squeezed out of my left eye, trickling down my cheek slowly. I shook my head back and forth a few time, trying to get rid of the tears. They weren't going to solve anything, so why bother? Tears just held me back. It made it seem like I had second thoughts, which I don't.

I opened my eyes and stared down. The bottom was so far, so, so far. So far away. I closed my eyes again, gently this time, and let the wind blow my blonde hair around my face. I raised my arms up in the air. I don't know why. It seemed like an appropriate thing to do, to maybe hope that the wind could carry me away, take me away. Far. Far. Away.

Forever.

It was a little chilly outside, and the scarf I had twisted around my neck was flitting around in the wind, which was harsher up here on the bluffs. It seemed like the higher you went, the harder the wind blew. It was crazy. I opened my eyes and stared straight ahead, inhaling deeply. All I could see was a baby blue sky, daring me to do what I was going to do. What I had to do.

I jumped.


End file.
